It happens all the time, without fail. The sweetest girl goes for that terrible worthless bad boy – AGAIN! She has so much to offer, the perfect catch, yet she chooses a boy (we can’t even bear to call him a man) a handful of notches below her level. We cringe when we see our girlfriends, sisters, and daughters make the same mistake of picking up bad boys over, and over again. It isn’t usually a one time slip up, but some type of pattern that repeats itself – one jerk after another, always resulting with a broken heart and a swollen face full of masquara infused tears.
As we watch these relationships repeat themselves like a chapter on a scratched DVD, we figure there has GOT to be a reason for all of this madness. What could possibly cause a beautiful, well rounded, bright-futured female to stoop to the levels of an unaccomplished unqualified bad boy, that would treat her nothing even remotely close to what she is worth? Well, in reality there is an endless number of reasons that could cause a good girl to fall for a bad boy, but there are three major reasons that seem to be the most common triggers:
1. The Good Girl emotional adrenaline junkie. Bad boys tend to be more adventurous, and less predictable. Go back to the time when your significant other told you they loved you for the first time. Remember that emotional high, the euphoric sense of being free from all gravity, and savoring those sweet words you have waited so long to hear. There will never be a first time of “I love you” again in that relationship, never again will you feel that same high… unless… unless you can get to a place so low and so dark that even the dimmest ray of hope will be enough of a contrast that you will feel as if you are inches from the sun, giving you that same crazy high you experienced before. Let’s face it the lower the lows, the higher the highs seem to feel. These emotional adrenaline junkies can’t bear an even keeled ride.
2. He’s a really great guy with a good heart. Or, better said – he looks really good, and he’s a charmer. The excuse: “He’s a really great guy underneath that bad boy exterior.” The fairy tale: “I will change him, he will change for me, he just hasn’t met anyone worth changing for yet. He just hasn’t met anyone like me.” The reality: Although your ego tells you otherwise, this guy isn’t changing for anyone, and guess what; you can’t change him. Until he decides to make a real change for himself, he is unrescuable from the life of a bad boy.
3. They associate love with hurt. This is my least favorite reason, and perhaps the most common of them all. It could be a parent, sibling, friend, or even a past hurtful relationship that breeds this association. The one that loves them the most – or is supposed to love them the most – hurts them the most. When the one that is supposed to be meeting the need of love in their life begins hurting someone, that is where the association comes in. The role of a lover becomes distorted. When a good girl gets hurt by a bad boy, she associates the hurt to the same hurt her parent/friend/ex lavished her with, and expects that because she is feeling the same hurt, she will also feel that same love – which she will, but it will never be the right love, and it will never be enough.
What are your thoughts on why good girls go for bad boys?